Schooled by a homeless man

6/18/16 (date of event) Written 6/22/16

So my friend Justin and I went for a walk to the beach. Along the way we were encountered by a rich, displaced homeless man Dean (a rich man that got his goods stolen at the airport, supposedly). He wanted Taco Bell so Justin bought him some. The scripture “I don’t want to gain the whole world but loose my soul” kept repeated in my head but never made and exit out my mouth. He was in good shape, dark sun roasted skin with light green eyes to contrast it. He didn’t have many teeth and told us it was attributed to the Scottish love for fights in his blood that enjoyed drinking. While walking to Taco Bell he divulged most of his background and family. He was a descendent of royalty in Scotland. He admitted his problems with anger and his love for women. Rip curl supported him as a pro surfer, he had his masters in construction and he sculpted rocks and constructed waterfalls. 

By this point we made it to Taco Bell, got his order and were sitting down. He would talk a bunch and eat. His lack of teeth made it harder for him to chew and he would choke on his food occasionally (which was quite a site and i couldn’t help but chuckle at points) I took my motherly que and got water and napkins for the man because he was to busy chatting. This lead into his conversation about Rick Warren, a pastor at Saddle back church that he worked for, being paid 375,000 to construct the waterfalls at the house or church. He met him through working for him and Mr. Warren ministered to him by just being curious about his life. 

A pretty girl invited him to Mr. Warrens church and he mainly went because of her. He was very forward about how he wouldn’t have minded a saturday sleepover before going to church (he had a lose mouth and was unashamed about what he wanted. Many things I didn’t exactly want to hear but part of it was freeing seeing someone unashamed about their humanness.) Justin and I are friends but Dean thought “I was his girlfriend/lady/gal.” I didn’t object and neither did Justin because it was fine to me to let him think that. (protection). This moment Justin and I shared with Dean was all about Dean. 

He was assigned to a small group and Rick Warren was leading it. The connection became deeper as Rick exhorted him how blessed he was. Dean vented to him about his 45,000 divorce court case, his failings in life and how angry he was. Rick was a friend to him and just listened. Our speaker Danny Lehmann had just told us that Rick Warren poured most of his money from his success back into the church and expanded the ministry. Dean was very impressed by how Warren lived out the principles of the Bible. Dean knew parts of the Bible well enough, that he started preaching to us and we were all ears. Dean read the Purpose driven life book and kept repeating the part “I am created to give God pleasure. I give Him pleasure.” No coincidences in life, because I’ve been reading that book and that was the second to last chapter I read. This man was drunk, wanting food and some cigarettes. He was open, funny and gave Justin and I a group hug because he was feeling “energy.” I wasn’t okay with details about the situation but knew God knew and had peace.

He was in a vulnerable place but was confident he gave God pleasure and God loved him.That man seemed more free that I did. He was living on faith and the kindness of strangers. One of them being Dave Swenson the night before. Dave hung out with him and told him about YWAM. (I don’t think YWAM would accept him. If he gave up a few of his habits possibly)  I began to cry as he shared how He believed God felt about him. He began to minister in his state. He would offend many religious folk but thats not who I am. A human who loves God and is trying to find comfort in an uncomfortable living situation. I am being softened and touched by surprising things. He was aware he had a lot by having food, running water and a nice bathroom. Thank you for the perspective check and inspiring me to do the same. I came to the dorms and told my roommates. One of them said “You just got schooled by a rich homeless man)I couldn’t help but cry because I know the Lord is calling me to this kind of confidence about His love for me. When will it go from head to heart knowledge and change my insecure behaviors? Ugh woman in waiting, seeking, reading…..

I made a decision. I am not going. It came down to the question- what is motivating me to go? God doesn't love me any more or less if I do or don't go. Do I want to go or am I going because I think God would love me more? I will not be motivated by fear or obligation. God loves me either way. And I keep hearing in me, I don't want to go, I don't want to go. So I'll listen to that. I won't go. I have peace and I'm happy about that. I miss my family and that is that. Decision made. Thank you for all who prayed and read this blog. I am learning about how to make decisions:)

Prayer Please

So Intercessorys and story followers- 

I am being challenged.

               Island culture like Samoa is not necessarily like Hawaii or California. I went to a meeting and was informed that we will be in huts, mosquitos are very abundant (which they are loving me here in Hawaii already), limited access to internet, bathrooms/showers are detached from our hut, electricity is in few locations, its going to be hot and yet we are called to be modest, covering the shoulders and knees at all times (skirts and short sleeved shirts), unsure  of weather we will be by water, or have any kind of breeze, its humid. Washing clothes by hand, slower pace.

Hot, sticky, very likely irritated with bug bites, different smells, traditions- can I handle these changes?

Yes, beautiful beaches, great fruit and the people I hear are very inviting and loving. 

Being able to teach and hear the word like another DBS is a privilege in order to firm up what I have already learned.

 (here is a map of Samoa) http://www.medicalmissions-samoa.com/samoa%20distance%20map.gif

          Our project is giving birth to a DBS school in a new location. We are doing something that has never been done before. DBS has never gone on outreach and our leaders have their hands open to what the situation is going to be like. There are 25 students signed up so far and some may come from surrounding Islands which means variation in the languages, needing translators. There are many unknowns but God knows what they are and will inform us at the right time.

                  This makes me consider many details. I will have my supplements but possibly not my raw eggs like normal. I’ve had to achieve a certain level of security in my health and will this be sustainable on this island? Can I trust the Lord to provide for my body and sustain? He’s big enough. 

The pervasive mindset is what is mine is yours. Will I handle lack of privacy? If I bring out a snack or game/something everyone is welcomed to it, which will make me lay down my attitude of entitlement (american trait? maybe.) This is mine and you can’t touch it. Is this really mine?   Not exactly Annalyse… Great preparation for having children or even being married eh? Healthy boundaries all in context but they are very relationally oriented with sharing life. Christ came to share eternity. 

What is my ultimate goal in life? To know God and make Him known. He went outside of His comfort zone, can I do the same? I know these are all touchy areas in me that need to be confronted. My goal is to love like Him, to have His image burned inside of me and display His disposition through my actions

***Main issue. I am suppose to buy the ticket this upcoming week but do not have $ yet raised for this trip. Its around 1,200-1,500 for such tickets. How can I, no how is this possible with God?***

My mind has many reasons to go and one of them being the opportunity to be like Christ who went outside of his comfort zone to reach us unlovable people, opportunities to listen and be a better student.  Yet I am human and am counting the cost of what I am stepping into. I have a choice to say no right now I don’t want to suffer if I don’t have to. Yet the point is being with Jesus. If this stretching and challenging will develop deeper intimacy with/dependency on Christ then the point will be accomplished. 

What the worst thing that could happen? I could just not like it and go home. No one is ever a failure for trying. I want to be like Christ, softened, full of grace and truth like my name. How do you become unoffendable? Its by being stretched eh? Join me in prayer for these ideals to be carried out and courage to step out in His will. 3 months of stretching could be just what I need to have a better perspective, practice trusting in Christ and letting His peace guard my heart and mind during this time and for the rest of life. Thank you for reading:)

Second time around

Dear friends and family. 

  I’m enjoying myself in Hawaii. There is rain, sunshine, rainbows, billowy clouds and my mind is feeding on THE WORD. We are receiving an overview of the bible in chronological order along with some historical information to get into the shoes of the original audience. The first 6 weeks were tough because of the demanding 4:30 am wake up schedule. Circumstances ended up with me being a leader for a group of grumpy morning duty people. I had many discoveries about others and my own personality.  There have been many fuzzy tiring days but oh the moments of elation and revelation! When the dots to connect its especially fun. Now I have an afternoon shift only 2 days a week. A relief. 

I’m growing so much and I am very appreciative of everyone who has been behind me, not just this journey but my previous journey to this campus 5 years ago in 2011. God really has been in the business of forging my character through all the various trials aka unfamiliar circumstances. Refining is the word that comes to mind and I feel His fire during worship. There has been a dying to self which is weird and painful because its like I’m really touching what self is. Redefining what I have done or thought I knew in order to be dumbfounded at how much I don’t know! He’s got a system, I just don’t understand all the parts … yet. Process, process and oh another process part of the journey:)

When my brain is happy by having the right nutrition= food, supplements, sleep and rest it can do what it was made to do. Think well and clearly. I’ve had to wait to receive why God would have me to go to….. Samoa. The YWAM base there is spearheading a new DBS and they need some staff and extra hands to help. God has gifted me with helping birth new ministries and that would be what I am doing in Samoa. With what I am receiving right now, I know I am a teacher at heart. When I teach,  things get cemented into my brain. I want to exercise what I know right off the bat so it really gets ingrained. I can’t do it without support. Their estimated total is about $3,000 (and some...) for 3 months which really isn’t that much. Most outreaches vary from 4-6,000.  This time would help solidify what I have just learned, give me an idea of what staffing is like and learn how to adapt to a new culture for 3 months. This is my time to try out YWAM and see if its what and where God would have me invest into. All that we learn doesn’t go to waste!

Please join me in prayer and finances if the Lord would lead you to do so. 

My Pay Pal will be up soon for contributions. Aloha!

Back to the Island!

Good evening fellow bloggers.
                  Its that time again to head on off to the Island. This time I'm more at home and settled in who I am. Going to a DBS (Discipleship Bible School) with YWAM. Had some uncomfortable but very necessary growing pains to get free from the childish egg I was chill in emotionally and spiritually. I can hear from, walk with and talk to God on my own. Transference of dependence from parents to Jesus and trusting that Holy Spirit and intuition working together. Reading THE WORD. GETTING IT IN MY HEART, MIND TO RUMINATE IN MY BELLY/SOUL. Had some immature and misinterpretations about who God is and I'm ready to clear up those misconceptions to get a clearer picture of who He is. Even if He is a mystery, and our minds won't every fully comprehend who God is (even though it would like to but if it did, it would try to control, but He is a person all to Himself! Who does everything for the purpose of love even if it doesn't feel like it at the moment) He loves our seeking because our face is turned towards Him. Immersion, the best way for someone like myself to learn.
                  The way to love is to get outside of yourself but don't forget you are important to. Love your neighbor as you love yourself. How do you love yourself? Its not emphasized but I'm learning it.  Know yourself, own up to your weakness, build your strengths and be ashamed of nothing. For it was all made by God to give him glory. Even sickness, sexualitySinging the song" Baby I"m worth it" all the time because its true! So excited to go through the word. My mind is fully alive because I've found a delicate balance between body and mind.It took work, money and discipline. Found this balance and IT AINT GOING NOWHERES!!
                 Learning not just to hear the the wind but listen to what it says. It takes silence and a trusting stillness to find. That all I need to be is here and now and I AM ENOUGH. I am equipped with all I need for the next season/step and God will equip and teach along the way. Stay teachable!
If God wanted more He would have added. But He works with what we have and where we are at. PERFECT LOVE CASTS OUT FEAR. Get those dang thoughts of dread out, we don't need that doubt weighing us down! Let it drive you to know your God.  Anxiety leads to dispare because you have let what is out side overwhelm your insides and you look inside to find nothing but questions but all your soul wants is peace! Which I know who can give you that-  It surpasses your UNDERSTANDING to guard your heart and MIND. Peace comes through trust and trust leads to rest. It happens through surrender- your willfully giving something over. He's personal enough to wrestle with our questions and rebellion. He pushes back because He's got love and blessings to give but we must want them and ask.  Give that worry over- counteract it with who He is/word/truth. Soothe your soul with worship, songs of deliverance, take deep breathes, return to here and now. This is a journey and I'm finally getting that.

TO the Future- to eternity and beyond! Annalyse

Dearest Blog followers,
             It's been almost a year since I last left a message of some sort. So much has changed.
While in Kona Hawaii I received the full portion of the Holy Spirit and got baptized in water.
I said "I don't want to follow God out of obligation or fear. I am here to follow because I want to."
The word want has taken on a whole new meaning. The want indicates a personal choice. God has
had to prove Himself over these last 4 years and its time to keep on keeping on.
Since last September these are some major events:
September:
 Resting and writing in reflection of the revelations received.
Received the job at Nordhoff as a dance costumer/student supervisor
Began Younglife
October, November still resting, fellowshiping with the new group of college students who formed in my home town
December:
 Received a job at a preschool. Let me say the book is no where near hands on.
January:
Became super sick the whole month. 1 week I was super down with period and sickness, parents packing and preparing to move to Blythe. Lost a set of work keys. No bueno.
February:
Birthday month I'm  22!- my friend Matt stepped into my life. Parents moved.
March:
Came and went, friend Matt and I getting closer. Ordering clothes for NHS spring dance concert.
April:
I spent a lot of time at Nordhoff with the girls supervising their rehearsals and practice hours, while helping with other major details for the show. Matt Asked me out and I fought him for 2 weeks then said yes. Began a girls Bible study on campus- which then I found out later it was against school policy. Devised another plan....
May:
Prepared for specific Younglife teens to go to camp. Set up a garage sale, sent out support letters.
June 16th-22nd. Woodleaf young life camp! Returned rested and packed up again for...
June 31-
July 21st was a staff member at Younglife Woodleaf camp base
Rested for 3 weeks while house sitting at the Sloneker's.
August:
I began again at Nordhoff's dance department for the second time around.
Preschool numbers are low so not much work and am searching for another job.
September:
The job at NHS getting into high gear. Broke up with Matt out of obedience.
Received a job with glamour on wheels which hosts princess like parties for girls. Started training 9/15/2012. It's centered in Oxnard. Been having irregular periods, am on a lactose and gluten free diet= amazing!
Any Questions? Email me or leave a comment. annalysemo4jc@yahoo.com
I've been writing like a crazy woman, but its more taxing with the new level of life as an adult and becoming a woman. DETAILS>>>>>I have a new love of organizing and being clean even if it doesn't appear like that in my room or car.
New direction-seeking out schools for dance, teaching, nutrition. Something like that. New goals to eat healthy, get in dancer shape= a lot more consciencous work, intentionality about time and money, take a finances class. Exciting, exhausting, waiting period is a wrestless period for some like myself. You know one must learn rest because the world won't allow it or teach it to you. This is why working in a group, learning how to communicate makes life harder when learning how to do it, but in the long run it saves you becoming ragged. This is why I believe we have so many independent people, because its a challenge to connect......
Its a choice to be dependent on people, and we let each other down all the time. Grace fills in the relational gaps. Life is richer with people, and that is why Jesus chose to share it with 12 others and hold 3 close. Funny how its three, three in the beginning, three during major ministry and it will end with everyone else centered around three. Enough of me! Toodles

Thoughts

So relationships…. School of relationships. When I was younger it was all about my body growing, being entertained and keeping my mind busy with something. The world supplied many visuals for what their interpretation of intimacy was but now God has stripped that away It’s time to rest in the person God has created me to be. How was I created to function? How does this function blend in with the other people? What do I add to society? Am I replaceable?

Oh my goodness- intimacy! Why have I never had an intimate relationship before? At least one with the opposite sex. I have my family and bestie but ooooh a man eh? Oh yes so simple but profound is I never received pure intimacy from the one who created it. If we know the real thing we can discern a phony in an instant.This can take so much time! Intimacy- where do you find it? What is your definition of intimacy? Does it have to do with a bed, someone elses naked body and somehow you create a beautiful picture together? Does it have to do with sharing your darkest secrets? Maybe- but where and when did these pictures begin to associate with intimacy?

Truest form of intimacy = knowing someone.  The smallest details, IN’s and outs to the degree that the other person did not know facts about themselves. Yes- In- time-I see (Intimacy). It takes faith, time and a driving interest in this person to continue to get to know them. Perhaps a bit of mystery? I love God’s creativity with languages. In Hebrew the word yada- is only used a few times. Yada- to know, deepest level of intimacy is how a wife knows the husband and visa versa. The verb that describes Adam and Eve’s knowing each other.You can't fully know what that means unless you've experienced it. 

It’s a fountain- it must come from within to go out. From the unseen ground or pipes being channeled to its appropriate place and at the proper time it emerges. Some as streams some as rivers others just land in the ocean. What prevents the flow of healing and restoration that intimacy provides? Always always fear!

              Our generation is finding many substitutes for this intimacy. YOU think of a few. T.V., IPODS, Cellphones, electonics that give without touching or being emotionally available. It’s always giving and we are always taking from it. It needs an electricity source yeah? It can die to- but it has no soul, spirit, emotions. Does it have a mind or mouth? It’s been mentally programmed so it doesn’t say the words need or want. You can program it to say what you want. You do what you want with it. It’s mouth and ears are the speakers which it gives out and only records what you say. You play back yourself yeah? It’s mindless, mouthless, fast, easy. Totally opposite of what a true relationship requires. Dealing with someone with a mind of their own making technology easier to work with because you don’t have to deal with feelings and emotions. Pain! I hate pain, I hate feeling uncomfortable, hate feeling empty.  Technology, you can touch it but not embrace it. You could eat it but um I don’t think that would be a beneficial relationship. Oh did I just say that? Relationship? Are we afraid of this word? Daymmmm. Did I mention time? The R word takes time and ohhh who hates what is hard? Is it not in our nature to avoid the difficult?

 My challenge to those reading- do what is harder first. The obedience has rewards. Share your heart, your mind, your time. If you trust God that He has this down pat- they why don’t you go out and do it. I challenge you because I myself am challenging fear, looking it in the face. I am saying to it “You won’t prevent me from entering into the dream life Jesus died to give me. Here I go to pursue it. Faith I will step out on water and know that God is turned toward me ready to hold my hand.” Will you come on this adventure with me? Let’s let our knees shake together and faint in awe when we see the outcome of our faith.

Returning Revelation

Dearest Bloggers and supporters.

                Huge discovery made. One cannot give what they do no have and one cannot live vicariously through the lives of others. God intends for us to experience and know Him for ourselves. My goals have changed tremendously. My faith has skyrocketed.

What is crazy is all our dark moments only let us appreciate the light and refreshment that much more. Our philosophy about life is dependent on how much we know God. KNOW JESUS FOR YOURSELF AND DON’T LET THE OPINONS OF OTHERS STEAL YOUR BLESSINGS THROUGH YOUR PERSONAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM. A broken and contrite heart oh God you cannot dispise.

                    So much happened in Japan and South Korea. So many intimate moments with Jesus- I almost did not want to write about it and keep my hugest blessing to myself. And that would be so selfish which is not love. Love shares and invites others along the journey so they can experience what has transformed every new moment of life. It is living life alongside Jesus making everything okay. As long as you are aware of Jesus being there- trust. Jesus wants to take our hand in marriage, leave our dreams and ambitions at the altar (marriage ,sacrifical, memorial) and let him lead us into His dreams for our lives. He is the originator of every thought and everything we see imaginable.

                  Revelation- God created us in His image. He birthed us from himself and we have that same ability to birth something in our image that resembles us. In that case, we need to treat each other as if we are encountering Jesus because we are ALL made in His image. We reflect the different qualities and facets of His beauty. In turn praise arises in our hearts and this ushers us into worship. We can be doing this all day long, only if the love of God is in us like John talks about. Jesus, God and the Holy Spirit are one.  So ….

We must be in the same position as Jesus is with the two others- we must be one. Someone showed me that having the mind of Christ is like being married, the mind and heart are synchronized which means we need to get to know Jesus’s and follow His rhythm. 

            A seed must die, in order to multiply. True resurrection had to happen when Jesus- the seed of all seeds had to die in the ground, be buried. He died to give us seeds of himself to give away and the cycle would progress naturally. We pay forward what has been given to us. Jesus was lifted out of the darkness of hell and He got to experience the sweet taste of coming back to the heavenly home. He understands having to give up and deny in order for the faith of others to multiply. With out His willingness to die, we would have no reason for faith. Believe in something unseen. Believe that what is dead could come to life. Believe He could overcome hell, that he could take the keys of heaven from hell and open the door to heaven for all who believe. Hope opens up opportunities of what if in the positive way when doubt says what if in the negative ways. For those who think they know God- there is always more to know. And for those who do not acknowledge having any personal relationship with Jesus my advice is:  GET TO KNOW GOD, KNOW HIS CHARACTER, HIS EMOTIONS FOR YOU. WHAT A BLESSING WE KNOW A GOD WHO HAS EMOTIONS AND FEELINGS FOR ALL HIS CREATURES MADE IN HIS LIKENESS. Why hmmm, doubt only comes from not knowing. The best part is- He feels for you. And right now is your moment to get to know Him, don’t let this go.  

            Every desire we even think we have must die- for Jesus to be given the opportunity to give true contentment or else we will reach out for any and every counterfeit that seems promising. It’s how we are made and designed- to meet the needs of others and to have our own needs met. These desires are from God but sin has corrupted the proper way to fill our desires. We grow relationships with sin. Repentance is not a hard word. Repent is the most life giving word God could give this earth. Repentance is seeing the error and malfunction, seeing the sin in the self, becoming so broken by it we reach out to say “I’m sorry, I don’t like what I see. Will you please change me?” He then breaks that wrong relationship to that sin, our attempt to fill the God given desire. Then the reward is by being rightly aligned in our relationship with Him. Isn’t this relieving? Why is it so hard to say I’m sorry when it’s the key to letting the bomb go that could explode inside of us and hurt other people?

            Birth Pangs are happening. Birth, new life emerging in the arts and it will happen through the arts because this is what needs to be redeemed. It’s being used in the wrong way. God’s divine nature is an artist. Let's figure out why He created the arts, what it's original intent was for and how He can be glorified through them. Hmmmm What are we created to do and cannot help do all the time? Communicate. Communicating messages with our tones, movement, facial expressions, body language, writing, photography you name a way to communicate.  More to come- Sorry for the wait.

Japan!

            This will be our last day in Japan. A bit sad but yet I see God’s divine timing. The disciples had to trust in their Lord that what they did was enough. They had to trust the Holy Spirit to guard the deposit made in them through their work. It’s beautiful, this life has so many hidden surprises. Who know what in 10 years what fruit will come from a group of unqualified people who desired for the gospel to be set forth into all the nations. Representing Jesus through art, through our spirits being right with God and it being evident with our love shown towards one another. Japan has relaxed towards newer people and ideas because with the tsunami help came people and their beliefs.

            All we have received was thank you’s and generocity. We have received more money from the churches than expected and our budget as a group is amazing! Our staff is blown away by how soon God had the blessing waiting, which was right when we landed. The youth are so hungry to be touched physically and by Jesus himself. What is beautiful is we can embody Him they way He wants to communicate himself to them through us. That is only if we cleanse ourselves to be the instruments of noble purposes 2^nd Timothy 2:20-21.

                    They are more of a distant culture and before we left a man who had just returned from Japan encouraged us to break the physical cultural boundary Food and growing closer to each other and the Lord. Our leaders keep impressing us. I have known very little how to get to know others. Mainly observation and asking the right questions. What a gift this time has been. Not the best of keeping up a blog but one must first go through the experience, strategize and be purposeful the next time. The gift to being with people has been so precious. I’ve been learning to trust more and more. God brings back to memory what I am supposed to write. Trusting the Lord relieves. My body feels more rested because I have been delivered from many fears. What sweet sleep, what love to experience.  Truly partaking, not mustering and no more striving. What a rested soul wants to do when its needs are met and intimacy has been accomplished.

              For the practical issues report. Sleeping on the ground has not been an issue and my parents raised me to be open to everything that can be put in my big mouth:0 There are new traditions like taking off shoes before going into the house, their fancy toilets that shoot water in the yes you know zone, bowing when saying conichiwa, not sniffing food when in being served food, eating with needles, eating live octopus…… JK! My body has been more rested because I am being delivered from fears everyday. Trusting Him to take care of His little princess.

              With the gifts God gives, more is required and I am truly feeling this. Being an intercessor, speaking the truth in love and being transparency are three major components to keeping a team alive. If we seek the Lord’s heart out for people through prayer God will grant us more insight to how to love and understanding the person. With speaking the truth, always consult the Lord before hand (as I do a preparation speech because I’m like that…J) and transparency prevents gossip. Gossip is so human when we get annoyed with each other and is always a group struggle. Yet love covers so many issues. The petty one’s get tossed in the wind and the others rise to the surface to bring more unity. There are those socially akward moments where the tension is so thick or attraction can be felt. How to endure the moment: This will be over.

              My love for the Word has only grown. At times I would rather be with the Word than with people. Reading it outloud brings it to lifeJ

 The word Suicide keeps haunting me. When going over bridges, seeing razors, by metro stations, its such a dark subject but it is very prevalent among the Japanese. A seriously high rate. We were in Shebouya walking among the populated streets filled with shoppers, and bright signs with their signs trying to get the people’s attention. In one particular store I felt and uhhh in my spirit and my stomach began to turn. I asked God “Why am I feeling this way?” He said “Listen.” To my surprise I heard the single word “suicide” being played over and over with background music. Is that even music? The customers may not know what is being said but music has such a powerful influence. There are many subconscious messages being sent to us. This is why the armor is so needed to be aware and ready for such small sneaky ways. Christ made our spirits alive but I’m curious what this word is doing to other souls who have not been awakened.

Good report: Technically yesterday was our last day in Japan. We had to head out early on a 19 hour ship ride because of a level 4 typhoon. We left two hours early and missed the arrival of the typhoon by 40 minutes. Isn’t God’s timing perfect? It’s arriving in Korea now and it’s been raining and winds have been roaring J

         God has confirmed over and over again that Brazil will be my next route. Here is more information about the training. I need to begin to apply for a visa hmmm a month in advance. I have 77 bucks in my account at the moment and here is a summary:

§                                                                                  

§                                                                                                         Operation:John Training School

We are living an unprecedented time in missions. Historically as church we have lived different phases, but never the Gospel was been preached in such a broad way as in this era.
Today we live in what is considered the fourth wave in missions, involving each and every one. Like never before we can look at the world in a more strategic and intentional way the fulfill the great mandate that has been delegated to us. Carrying the message of Good News to every tribe, people and nation.
Our goal as project is intentionally to go where we are not as the body of Christ, crossing the last frontiers and help others to establish pioneering work and ministries.
The vision of Operation: John is to mobilize, train and send teams that like John the Baptist prepare the way for the Kingdom of God, go out as trailblazing missionaries paving the way for others to come and establish pioneer projects.
The trailbalzing teams will work researching, physical and spiritual needs, build bridges and bulding an altar of worship in these places.

As a school we wish to encourage a pioneering and innovative spirit, a worshiper heart and a strategic mind.


The goal of the School is to:
-Promote teamwork through respect and support, encouraging gifts and talents.
-Train students to work in a cross-cultural environment.
-Develop in the students a biblical worldview.
-Teach how to develop research, obtain data, analyze and produce visual material through photo and video.

-Foster a strategic mindset that can bring answer in different spheres of society.
-Generate a missionary lifestyle that promotes intimacy, worship and strategic pioneering.
omote healthy team work, where the students understand their identity and engage as a group serving the same goal.
-Teaching cross-cultural understanding to the students, in a way that they can observe and serve in other cultures knowing how to respect, behave, promoting dignity and respect.
-Teach the students how to see and think things in a biblical perspective.
-To stimulate a pioneering and innovative spirit.
-Teach how to develop research, obtain data, analyze and produce visual material through photo and video.
Promote missionaries that will ministry others from a place of intimacy with God.


The school of Operation: John will cover the following topics:
-Teamwork
-Revival and transformation
-Intimacy and lifestyle of an intercessor
-Pioneering
-Anthropology
-Worldview
-Research (How to get data, interview techniques, writing articles and producing video and photos)
-Apologetics / World Religions
-Emotional Health in the mission field
-Strategic Planning Projects

Practical School:
The outreach in Brazil will be optional.


Upcoming schools:

Training Operation: John in Curitiba
Dates:
The school will be bilingual.
September 12 to December 1, 2011 (the base of YWAM Curitiba - Uberaba district)
Cost: Registration fee U$ 100 School $ 1000 (for the lecture phase period)
Location:
YWAM Curitiba - Uberaba
Contact:
operacaojoao@gmail.com



Training Operation: John Kona
July to September 2012
The school will be bilingual English / Portuguese.
If you are interested in this school please contact us as soon as possible because of the application for a U.S. visa.
Cost: USD $ 3400 (tbc)
Contact:
operacaojoao@gmail.com

Prayer: I’m over thinking. It’s robbing me of even enjoying a movie! Something is about to break. I keep feeling isolated like my mind’s hands have been bound from exploring or questioning. I sense Satan is close by because a huge break through is about to occur.

I need to let go,

Prayer: I desire to be diligent with the $ the Lord has given me. Do I buy gifts? Is this food necessary, do I ask others to cover? What is wisdom Lord? The grace He gives when learning blows my mind. He can cover my mistakes! But do I believe this when it comes to taking a chance? This creates anxiety in me and I believe it does most people. I know being a missionary is a life of faith being dependent on others and the nudging of the Holy Spirit in who to ask. It’s adventurous and chaotic, but in the end Jesus is spread abroad and His fragrance through my lifeJ

Pray for my mind: To look out for others, not to overthink, keeping it set on things above, letting the word renew it. Not depend on my own understanding (SO HARD!) When our minds are feeding us what we see and is constantly painting pictures the glasses need to be clean and unbroken but to many times both occur. I noticed I have been taught much about discretion but it has really interfered with my relationship making and the spirit of conspiracy want to make everyone a villain or something to be wrong with them. It’s such a struggle and where the heck did this come from? I used to trust so easily but it has gotten harder. I need more discernment, I know it’s coming.

So much confirmation about my feet being anointed, hands bring a healing touch, gift of encouragement, and God has given me a heart to hear others, listen to His voice and He shows me many lessons through observation. My prayer has been “Jesus what do you want me to see or hear in this situation? What is the purpose for you pointing these out?”

Huge time of exploration in interests, friendships, relationships and the ultimate question “What do you want?” Not what do I need but what are my deep desires? Can I face the honesty of what is really inside rather than what I know should be the automated response?

First love...

Truley, the romancer has my attention. The severe critic has been severely softened by the Lord's way of wooing. Princesses I know are real and truth is, every woman is one. She may not see herself that way but based on God's value given to every person, they are worth dying for. What priceless value. The Prince laid His life down. He is the ultimate hero who did not say I love you but actually showed it on the cross.
The words chosen, priesthood, royalty, precious did not sink in till this week.
Should I tell you the whole story.....
Within the first few weeks, a guy I didn't know felt led to pray for me. He saw a tiara fit for my head with jewels of all kinds.He said "You are His princess. He is opening the castle to you and it is time for you to explore." and much more but this will pertain to the point I'm trying to get across. Later that week another man prayed for me saying many wonderful things but one thing stood out was his reference to a purple dress and being an intercessor. Before He said anything I was telling God wanted a new dress and He knows I love purple:)
               .Ha! Flashback- there is a Barbie video with a princess named Annalyse. Who would have known...
The more I thought about being a princess this came to mind: They never fight. They stay in the castle or watch the battle go on. The King sends men to fight for them. Jesus fought + His angels have been fighting for us and our job is to be on the watch. If we see something we must report (through prayer)and hand the cares over to Him. He will do what He sees fit and tell us how to be on guard. Being aware is the greatest defense.
                         The word princess is now in my vocabulary. "A Whole New World"  has been in my head since the second week being here and it has not left me. The word "free choice" has never become so real. God trusts me with decisions. Guess what? God trusts us to make good decisions! That is love- giving us choice. He wants to be with us- but how much do we want to be with Him? If we show Him signs we want to be with Him- How His heart responds so quickly amazes me. I went into this studio for movie making and reporting when God had something different in mind. A friend from another school was in there. I was expressing how it is the first time being on my own. The new question God was asking was "What do you want?" I have heard the I need this or this is what is going to happen and I take instruction quite easily. She said "It sounds like God wants you to explore your options. He is asking you "Tell me princess, now when did you last let your heart decide." The bell of Aladdin rang clear. I have dream parents. They have chosen wisely what is right for me, but now the road is diverting to "What do I need personally? Does Annalyse know what it takes to make her tick properly?" All these are questions of growth and now its trial and error time. Adventure!
                The next morning a friend of mine accompanied me for breakfast. She set her mug down and it read "Aladdin." I'm thinking... are you serious God? I began to laugh and she asked why. The explanation of the recent exposures to the name came and she smiled widely with "I have the movie on my lap top. All I need is a thumb drive." I got my roommates thumbdrive and met her at the cafe while getting Tangled, Aladdin, and Nemo.
                        Another disney princess that I have admired is Pocahantas. I was singing colors of the wind in a bathroom and when I was washing my hands this woman mentioned she had been listening to that song on her computer. We looked at each other and noticed the purple trend. She looked like Pocahantas and we both commented on that as well. Ha! Then during work duty in the kitchen I felt inclined to look behind a stove to find a cap of some sort. What did it say on it? "Pocahantas Foods USA." Dang! He's got it planned out. Annalyse's analyzing cap went on and remembered the Indian Princess was an intercessor. She brought agreement and played an important role. Even if it was unjust she did not want anyone hurt.
          Monday's we have corporate worship in the Ohana Court. A revelation I discovered is I would rather have a heart felt moment than hours of physical expression. I don't want to worship because someone tells me to. I want to do it because I am moved. God is not looking at the outer appearance but at my heart. I want to be genuine in everything. There has been a new move to write images and realizations. That morning I wrote a poem and sensed such peace. I am doing what I want to do. It has to come from within.
             Lately I have been waking up early to meet with other women hungry for the Word to memorize and improv dramas that we sense God is telling us through the Bible. We wrote encouraging notes asking for God to speak through us to other people in the group. The word Diamond appeared three times. Hmmm? In the middle of  Ohana Court worship this Monday the same friend from the studio of movie making came up to me with something in her hand. "The Lord wanted me to tell you that He is so pleased with you and loves you so so much. He has given you freedom to worship in any way you want to. Here is a token of His love and He put it on my heart to give it to you. This is from Him to you."
                 It was a silver chain and a heart shaped pendant with clear stones. The word diamond came to mind. I remember finding a diamond ring in elementary school and returning it to the office. The woman gasped saying "Did you know these are diamonds in this ring? How I know is because there is nothing behind the diamonds, because they need to breath." They weren't crystal, they were diamonds. I knew in my gut but I couldn't believe it . I sparkled on the inside all day. I was distracted with dancing because I kept looking at the heart in the mirror.  Just to confirm what I thought I asked the friend the story behind the necklace. She said it was real silver and they were diamonds! It had been given to her at 14 and said it was time to move on.                        Ha!One night it was decided upon to watch Tangled, when I  wanted to watch Aladdin. A friend of mine said Tangled reminded her of the gospel story in movie. What was Rapunzel wearing? A purple dress. What new identity did she find?  She was a princess. What did she find that belonged to her? Her crown. What had she never seen? The castle and her parents. I saw so much imagery that God has presented within the last three weeks. It's been a wonderland of serious God talk and finding out how He feels about me.I am finding He wants to do this to everyone He created. Do we have the faith to believe what He says about us is real? Why can't we believe? P.S. Do you know what He says you are? Have you read for yourself? It's about time you do that. Identity makes us stand straight and tall in a shaky world.

Paddleboarding dream came true!

 Here it is. Evidence of the dream! Last Sunday- God kept impressing my spirit to call Joelee. Once I called she said "You calling was the confirmation that we are supposed to go paddleboarding:) Woman to the right bottom is Joelee. The wonderwoman of the ocean who is constantly quoting scripture. She is an aqua instructor, a swim instructor, takes people snorkling and she does night time dives too, when the manta rays come out. To the left is Jeremiah and Emeka- who are actors in the PADTS and you can see why (beautiful people!):)

Above is Asia 13, and to the right is Malia 12 1/2. I had met these girls 2 weeks ago at the beach by the pier. Their uncle runs a boat business taking students on traditional boat excursions. When I went with Joelee, these girls were sitting on the side of the pier. We immediately recognized each other and they decided to call me sister. I have a heart for the youth. They are so precious to me, and precious to the Lord but they need to have the revelation of this love in order to experience it. I know there is a high pregnancy rate on this island in highschools and I have a heart to teach and disciple youth about purity.

                   I have always loved the water since I was a kid. My mom would get frustrated trying to get me out of the pool or ocean. I am returning to the ocean and my love for it too. I like being surrounded by something and the temperature being slightly cold made it so refreshing. Water is known to have the therapy qualities and I believe it has helped my ankle heal and will continue to do so. It has been known to help premautre babies because it has fluidity like that of a placenta and its a comfortable place for them to explore.

                          The water is so blue and clear! It is so salty and my theory behind it is the warmer the water, the greater concentration there is of salt because the warmth dissolves solids much easier than cold water. I could hear the boats and the dolphins sing. Joelee told me to go swim with them. I was a little hesitant because they are wild so I have a healthy fear of the ocean. She said "sing to them". She asked me later what I was doing in PADTS and I told her dancing mainly but I like to write, sing and play guitar. She lit up, "you are the song carrier." We smiled and the adventure ended on the side of the road where she dropped me off.

Thank you so much for following this journey!

Prayers: Our team is getting sick a lot

Injuries keep popping up out of no wheres

Continuation of healing physically and for spiritual break through. 

Financial support for the other team members (Reminder of the donation buttons:)

Our staff is undergoing spiritual attack.

Protection over our communication as a team with all 38 of us left. (Satan loves to deceive through miss-communications and wrong perceptions).

Revelation is coming:)

I want to change the world, but I cannot you see
I cannot change anything till it happens inside of me
The devils I see aren't devils at all
The dislikes in myself can be credited to the fall
But what makes this fact bright
Jesus still still loves me, even in my darkness despite

Where can I go from your spirit?
Where can I flee from your presence
If I go up to the heavens, you are there:
if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.
If I settle on the far side of the sea
even there your hand will guide me

The call to be next to absolute purity
Can this happen? I know I'm so unworthy
Yet the blood did it all
Covers me, redeems the fall
My past, present and future sins
Are consumed in the fire, in sheol
I now can take a deep breath in.

Satan loves to pray on vulnerability
loves to twist words and sincerity
Miscommunication his specialty
His voice tries to echoe in my head
If it was his choice he would leave me for dead

The master of lies and manipulation
keeps oppression still and steals expectation
till the repentance tears tear the tents
built in my mind for defense
to cover my human tendencies

Written 3 days ago:)

What is underneath your tree?

Every week we have a different speaker talking about specific subjects from 9-12am for 5 days. This week's speaker was Chris Colby- a woman to be respected for planting nursing schools in the middle east (not sure where). She has also studied world views and how they are formed. She thought her value came from her education when she heard Derek Prince talk on "Do you realize how valuable you are?" Please listen to it!

            Have you ever asked yourself- what is behind my behavior? Why do I do these things, think this way, speak this way? It all stems from somewhere and this is a process we constantly go through out life. Abundance of the heart the mouth speaks, what a man thinketh so he is and guard your heart for it is the wellspring of life. Using the tree as the imagery to describe us as people, roots represent beliefs, foliage= ideas, then the fruit is the result of the beliefs lived out everyday. What happens is our behavior represent what the roots have absorbed. Either you'll find lies or truth. Lies are so easy to absorb because they appeal to us as truth or something solid when they are not. The work of personal transformation cannot begin until you hand God your tree and let Him uproot and shake you to see what fruit/behavior will fall. Once you let Him do this you see the fruit. If you don't like what you see..don't worry! We are all subjects to change and if you see something you don't like it, tell God your heart, ask for revelation because He is so faithful to show you!!! Submitting everything relieves us even though our pride hurts. It is a good hurt. Yes:) Once you tell God you want something new to fill the old way of reacting- this is where the word needs to replace the lies. Open the \Word and search for how the Lord views you:)
             I must go- but its been exciting! More to come:)

1/2 way mark

Dang! Half way mark already:) Where to begin ohhh my..... The performing arts DTS is one of those DTS's where the body becomes the target for attack and it is so true! Health- please keep it in mind with prayers.  Injuries pop up out of no where- sickness through fevers and flu have been an invasion to our team. The buggies are having a munch fest on my body still. Ankle- its so hard to not dance on it. Yet when I don't dance, relationship opens up.    God had to realign my thinking this past week. The kinks serve as reminders from God who lovingly spells it out through the Word- I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. Who wants to follow a commander/authority they don't know behind the scenes? Their ins and outs. How is respect built? Through KNOWING and spending the time to BUILD RELATIONSHIP. It is not established at once through a sinners prayer. It's not an idea of doing and getting results.We have made relationships to easy. Talking is invisible, you cannot see spoken words but the connections they establish are eternal and their exchanges have such dramatic affects.
              My classmates are amazing me. I wish my eyes could have cameras so you can see all of them and witness the change like I have. God has written everyone's story and every step we take is leading to the next destination. I love how He does it differently for each person. No story is alike so STOP COMPARING! That has been a huge hinderance in my class is comparison because they are unsure of their walk with the Lord or they feel like they have to be like someone else to please Him WRONG!
                          His faithfulness can be seen through the sunsets and sunrises. This is crunch time when things become crazy and the conflicts begin to rise to the surface. I am seeing God through new lenses and I know I am secure yet at the same time my mind is being renewed and transformed and that seems like a boey bouncing in the water. I am learning about the lies that I have lived in about myself which then hamper the joy of living life and effectiveness in ministry. In all reality, everyone has those part they are working on, but Satan has no right to tell me anything other than what the word of God has said ( Which he would never remind me). READING GOD"S LOVE LETTER IS SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO IMPORTANT! Ephesian's is my friend in how to gear up. God has made me a naturally vulnerable person but it seems as though there have been places in my heart that have affected me more than I knew. Satan reminds me of the plankton on Sponge Bob- where the little weirdo keeps trying to amplify himself anyway he can, his mouth gets others confused and he doesn't have the best in mind for those around him. Ha- and he lives in the ironic Bikini Bottom.
            In total there are four dances I will be in- Hula to "The Prayer" Hawaiian version, Mighty Spirit, Tahitian and the couples dance. The moves are only part of the dance to work with but the heart speaks louder. I am enjoying the couple's dance with my brother Frank who is my partner for now. We both don't have it all together but we have a fun connection and end up laughing together walking out of the studio. The girls in the dorm corridor (picture will be up soon) are free to give and are all so friendly. They emphasize living community style as in lend and give freely. If one has a need know that God gave you what you have so it is not yours to begins with. That too is a part of stewardship by supplying the body of Christ with what they have even if it is little.
             There is this precious time with Jesus and I, but I have carried other issues and concerns here that I didn't think would affect me so much. Relinquishing rights means smack down surrender. We will hold on-as humans attachment is part of our nature but the Holy Spirit gives us the timing to embrace and time to refrain. Living the life of faith is a rush- and I want to live it. Yet God gives us a choice and it is wise to count the cost, like we learned in class. To give God the time to really ponder His word and all that most would leave behind. My heart is really feeling the Bible, and the Holy Spirit is breaking these walls that have made the pages to thick to feel. Now is the time to practice washing people's feet and it begins with those we live with.
           The colors here are so rich and I enjoy spending time by the ocean and the two water fountains they have on campus. I do believe the waters have a healing sound and affect on the body. Time to rest the soul, time to receive from the Lord. Any Curious Questions you would like to ask? Please do so! Make this thing interactive rather than a journal entry. I am so grateful for all the eyes that have looked upon this page. Buenos noches!

Out Reach Fee #2

How to Contact Ekkehart:
Email: ekkehart.h@gmail.com
Skype: ekkehart.h

Dear Friends and Family,

        I am fortunate to have all my lecture phase fees paid off. I have been so blessed yet others have had a different route hearing from the Lord last minutely and out of obedience they came without total financial covering. My friend Ekkehart Hoenen is a complete gentleman and his heart so aimed toward the Lord. I have been privileged to get to know him thus far. He is from South Africa and turned his life around for the Lord the second year of his electrical engineering path and took Bible college courses alongside His university education. He has used his strengths to reach and teach the youth of Barbados and South Africa. He heard from the Lord to “go out and dance with the joyful” from Jeremiah and that he is doing in the Performing Arts Discipleship Training School.

 He is such a servant and desires the best for others. He is an example for young men in our group and is a valuable asset to our whole group.. Fortunately he has the lecture phase covered but for outreach to South Korea and possibly Japan, he needs around 3,500 to complete the total cost. He has developed God’s father heart for orphans and has been supporting an orphanage in Malawi Africa and hopes to build a website alongside every day work, but because he is being called in YWAM for this season he cannot afford to continue supporting them. We will be fundraising on campus as much as possible alongside the donors efforts.  Prayerfully consider giving. 

                                                 From my heart and hopes,

                                                             Annalyse Olivas

Outreach Fee's

How to Reach Bri Anne:

Email:brianne.miller@live.com

Skype: bri.anne.miller 

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Hello Family and Friends,

              It is in the fourth week of lecture phase of the DTS. Praise God, I have all my expenses paid.  Yet ….there are others who came more on the spare of the moment and not all the money has arrived. I am introducing my friend Bri Anne Miller who has had a diverse life and I see God’s plans of using her in dynamic ways. She to is a dancer who has studied Israeli style dancing since she was four and at eleven she began jazz and tap. She has a big heart to speak for others through her writing and sign language gifts. When I first met her I underestimated her abilities hidden behind her reserved nature. For instance she has written an autobiography on a family member during a traumatic time. It is on its way to being published.

She grew up in Oregon in a Messianic home with 3 older siblings and parents deeply involved in ministry. Her vision is to combine communication and performing arts to educate those in how to communicate with the aid of performing arts to represent the people in need. Two weeks prior to this DTS she was given the opportunity to go to China for 1 ½ months. Our outreach happens to be South Korea and Japan. If you sense God's tug to donate towards her fee's, there is a PayPal Donation button on my blog under followers. We will need 6,000 in all and right now she has 1,500. She will need 2,500 by the end of tomorrow in order to purchase a plane ticket. By the beginning of June all fee's must be paid. If the Lord would lead you to do so thank you already:)

Week 3

It has been way way to long. There will be more consistency:)
            My roomates are awesome. Two from Korea, one from Iceland, one from Norway, one from Oregon and the other from North Carolina. There are 5 DTS's going on at one time. The roller coaster has just begun and its week four. This Tuesday there was corporate worship in the Ohana Court, where everyone on base gathers. I twisted my ankle dancing and have been on the road to recovery since. Ice 3 times a day, ibuprophen and elevation. It is getting better:) My mind was the weaker place because things kept saying you were doing it for the wrong reasons... yata yata. People have been coming up me saying "When you dance, something inside of me moves" or " God is so happy with His little girl dancing for Him at the recital." Encouragement all around.
                    I believe the mini injury has had its purpose to realign my mindset that I am not here to dance but to "Know God and make Him known" as the YWAM mission says. It also made me more aware of others, to observe them closer and listen better. It has had it's purpose and thank the Lord for the reminder.
              There has been much spiritual warfare since week one. Sickness, then pestilence (the bugs like to kiss me but I am not reciprocating their affection), my camera broke but it got exchanged at costco (few!), friend of mine had been undergoing mental battles, and then myankle ditty. A guy in my group got chicken pox, two other guys had ankle injuries, a friend fell in the rain and was out for a week. Oye! It has been one theme repeating itself. I am reading "Spiritual Warfare for every Christian" by Dean Sherman. Ephesians owns my life! Speakers have been emphasizing the armor of God, No confidence in the flesh, and the first chapter listing the blessings all Christians. I am stirred to begin a study group specifically for Spiritual warfare because many other girls in the dorms want to be equipped warriors as well. .

                       Every week the curriculum is mainly based on a speaker we have from 9-12 am and this week we have had the priviledge of Loren and Darlene Cunningham along with David Dawson. I was a busy scribe trying to record all the notes but sometime i just had to put the pen down and drink it in.
                  This weekend has been filled with divine appointments. Especially Friday night in the prayer room. It had a mini typhon with rain that created mini rivers in 5 minutes. I love creating in the rain- its an inspirational time personally. I ran to this 24/7 prayer room and as soon as I walk in I heard this woman playing the piano with such a unique voice ahhh! Then after being there for 2 minutes another friend began to play the African drum and that was it. I had to dance. The injury made me reach deeper and create movement avoiding the left ankle. The three of us began to feed off one another and the Spirit filled this place. After the 10 minutes all three of us gathered and were so amazed at what had just happened. Another woman came up and was really touched by everything she witnessed. I had been asking the Lord for vision and the pianist said she received pictures and I wrote them down. She is from San Francisco! Ended up praying with another woman who had another word from the book of Ephesians! God always wants to speak, He waits for us to listen.
         Saturday was a class trip to Hapuna Beach, with the white sands and clear waters. We did all the beachy things, took pictures with the underwater camera that now works and ate a beautiful Korean style BBQ. Yum! Guitar players filled the air with their notes and girls with their voices in harmony, while fellowship flowed in the background. Peaceful and tiring from the sun.
              Sundays are the off days and luckily the churches around the area provide the transportation/shuttles for students to attend from YWAM. I caught the last shuttle to Living Stones Church. The pastor talked about Ephesians 1:15-30. All about the hope, power and riches we have in Christ. He had an amazing point. Most Christians only function in how much they know, yet we know so little of how much we have in Christ. He called this potential energy and when we increase the knowledge with the activation of faith it becomes kinetic energy where it is taking the ball somewhere. He also discussed how much messed up thinking Christians have about how God views them. This is considered bondage and bondage is a negative fortress that surrounds our mind. We want God's fortresses to protect and guard us, not our mental captivity of fear and pride to keep us inside the fake fortress. This is why we need to constantly ask God what He wants to break in us.
            I have been looking longingly at paddle boards everytime I go to the beach. I tell God "How would I afford a day on one of those." Before leaving the church this spirit led woman approaches me saying " I know God wants me to pray for you. There is something you've hurt" I point to my ankle. She goes on "You have a word for a friend of mine" I'm thinking okay I'm open. She began to pray so precisely and God gave me the precise word for her friend. Come to find she is a paddle board instructor and she wants to take me for a ride this week. I am assuming its for free. We connected in the spirit and it bolstered my faith knowing my desire for this came to me rather than me looking for it or having to bargain for it. Crazy;)
                             Our team is about 1/2- 1/3 Korean and there are 39 of us. Many individuals to get to know. We need unity and protection over our bodies. We are all changing so much and learning how to encourage, manage our time, clean our rooms, being community minded souls to give what I need to my brother before my own. I am very fortunate to have all lecture and out reach fee's.  Our team has people who are not all the way paid for $6,000  outreach and would greatly appreciate donations. We are coordinating fundraisers and ways to get quick cash. If God would lead you to donate please please call me at 805 620 2866. I'll help arrange ways to get the money here. Thanks for reading another blog- God is on the move.

Break through number 2

God is giving so much mental clarity yeah!!!! Being around room mates at times makes me feel crowded inside because I have been used to spending time alone in my room talking to God out loud. He is crumpling religion up and telling me I can experience Him anywhere. I have the freedom to pray out loud ha! Freedom is all around us, awareness is all we need to take hold of it.

          We are discussing the subject of "Kingdom Sexuality" learning how God ordained relationships. Kenny Jackson, our leader's husband shared how the world's rivers run from north to south but the Nile River runs from South to North and it is the only river that does such. He had a little glass full of the pee like water from the Nile. He used this as an illustration of how we are called to go against the flow of the worlds information of how sexuality is presented and this reminded me of Leeland "Opposite Way." We discussed this idea, Is sex a need and why. Need: a nescesity for life. Reproduction yes- always in context of marriage. We looked at Jesus an unmarried man and the case was closed.

               Such transparency! God lead one of my brothers to confess on the topic and I thought that I should share how God has delivered me as well. My heart beat soared and heard a voice say "don't, Don't, DON'T" before I came up. The story begins when I was 13-14 and there was a book I thought it read organism but I opened the book and was introduced to what and how orgasm occured. From then on I was curious about it and guilt kept following me. My goal was to be pure and blameless but was this really affecting me? YES! I thought a prophet would come out and say to my face what I was doing in secret. I never went on any porn sites or looked at magazines. Oh Ms. Purity would be found out. She would soon find out God wants truth in the inmost parts, psalm 51 and that God loved her the same even in the midst of sinning. 

                           But God's gift with making me a visual person made it hard. Especially little hints in movies scenes would replay in my mind. Music really affected me to because my ear for music, did not have protection at times and certain songs would arouse things from my ears to my body. Uggg- the world rushes. When God says "Don't awaken love until it so desires" not that sex is love, but the idea that this isn't to be awakened till my husband comes along. When I was 18, God delivered me through prayer and constant submission. He delivered a message as well. We are called to give Him pleasure not ourselves. I was taking away my husbands gift that He would want to give me. Out of consideration for my physical best friend other than Jesus, I prepare before hand. 

                        After sharing my insides with the group- healing flowed through people and many thanks came for the boldness to get in front of 45 people and share my guts. What shame? Who are you shame to try and taunt my life for being truthful with my neighbor? People wanted prayer and people wanted to talk about their struggles and know how God has had me walk this out. He is coming for a pure bride- How pure do you want to be? Just physically or mentally as well? This is between you and the Lord very much so- but I want to be transparent like glass. What is there to hide? Only sin causes us to hide like Adam and Eve in the garden. Our group named me courageous. I couldn't believe it was coming out of my mouth- it was God.

break throughs begin

Things are getting down to business:) I can feel your prayers for my health because I am healing quickly yeah! Today we watched a video of the performance that we will be putting on and it put me on edge for all the Lord would have us do in a short amount of time. After we were all exiting the theater, my face does not lie of the action inside and our "grandpa" Charlie came and held my hand saying "more training and you'll be ready."
                   I love my roommates. They are a low key group, quiet and considerate. We bonded after 3 days and are all like family " You need this? Here you go." or "Does anyone have this?" then two people say they got it. Such a community I enjoy being with. The guys are very respectful and if most are corrected they take it with humility. Most aim at becoming men of God which is awesome to be around. We were at the Ohana court for corporate worship which happens every friday and I was standing on the side where I didn't have a chair. My brother came over to accompany and when it was time to sit down he got me a chair:) I didn't even see him put it behind me. We all serve each other and this is what I have desired all along. It does take more effort to be aware of others needs but the Holy Spirit makes this easier.
                         Two days ago our group was in the prayer room that is open 24/7 which is my place to personally breath after a day of being with people and a place to be away from my room. I felt the call to dance but decided I would try to dance outside so I wouldn't be an "annoyance" or "distraction". I went out side and I couldn't hear the music because there are two sets of doors going in to make it sound proof. Frustrated that there were people outside. I am used to dancing alone, letting it be unto the Lord but He has shown me that an audience of one depends on your mental state and people shouldn't matter. period.
I busted out in tears because of the supression of expression and one of the PADTS staff was outside and pulled her aside to process. She began to pray for the fear of man to be broken, for perfect love casts out fear and I began to weep. In my mind I asked the Lord why this emotion and He spoke that when I am disobedient to step out it grieves the Holy Spirit and I am with holding blessing from others.
                Don't you hate living in lies because they become an escuse for not doing what you know you need to do? Not sure where the idea of dance being a distraction came from. Only if its for attention then this occurs. I was carrying my tray of breakfast (which are the best meal. Usually some kind of fresh fruit, and yummy oatmeal that they offer coconut to put into!) I asked the Lord , "Where would you have me sit?" Landed next to this kick butt woman who prayed over me for deliverance from the fear of man and to silence Satan's voice that is hindering my worship. Again I entered into the prayer room and a dance came. After words I wept again because I felt as though the wall was broken spiritually but it is something I must continue to do. In the bathroom I met a girl Marie who I poured my heart out to and she turned to me with caring eyes saying "Annalyse, you blessed me when you danced. It challenges me to be bold in the gifts God has made known to me that I need to exercise. I felt the heart of God get excited when you danced, like a Dad being passionate about His daughter being on stage for a recital. Especially when she is looking at Him the whole time and wants to please Him." Woah......
               We had to meet in the classroom and I rushed to one of my counselors to tell them what the Lord had done and it ended up the staff was in the upper part of the prayer room and they witnessed it. They voiced how they were blessed and "it was good" not in the performing way but in that stepping out was good. Now it is time to intercede for others who too struggle with stepping into their God glorifying gifts to be used and reflect the Lord. You can respond or reflect, Questions- What would you do if God called you to do something outside of your comfort zone? Does this happen often? Do you know what is holding you back? In what way do you feel limited? My charge to you is to put it before prayer, do it and post it on here to witness. Here is another tid bit from Joy Dawson who is John Dawson's mom gave a word to our specific generation saying: We must understand the following: Delayed obedience is disobedience. Partial obedience is disobedience. Obedience with murmuring is disobedience. What are your thoughts?