Schooled by a homeless man

6/18/16 (date of event) Written 6/22/16

So my friend Justin and I went for a walk to the beach. Along the way we were encountered by a rich, displaced homeless man Dean (a rich man that got his goods stolen at the airport, supposedly). He wanted Taco Bell so Justin bought him some. The scripture “I don’t want to gain the whole world but loose my soul” kept repeated in my head but never made and exit out my mouth. He was in good shape, dark sun roasted skin with light green eyes to contrast it. He didn’t have many teeth and told us it was attributed to the Scottish love for fights in his blood that enjoyed drinking. While walking to Taco Bell he divulged most of his background and family. He was a descendent of royalty in Scotland. He admitted his problems with anger and his love for women. Rip curl supported him as a pro surfer, he had his masters in construction and he sculpted rocks and constructed waterfalls. 

By this point we made it to Taco Bell, got his order and were sitting down. He would talk a bunch and eat. His lack of teeth made it harder for him to chew and he would choke on his food occasionally (which was quite a site and i couldn’t help but chuckle at points) I took my motherly que and got water and napkins for the man because he was to busy chatting. This lead into his conversation about Rick Warren, a pastor at Saddle back church that he worked for, being paid 375,000 to construct the waterfalls at the house or church. He met him through working for him and Mr. Warren ministered to him by just being curious about his life. 

A pretty girl invited him to Mr. Warrens church and he mainly went because of her. He was very forward about how he wouldn’t have minded a saturday sleepover before going to church (he had a lose mouth and was unashamed about what he wanted. Many things I didn’t exactly want to hear but part of it was freeing seeing someone unashamed about their humanness.) Justin and I are friends but Dean thought “I was his girlfriend/lady/gal.” I didn’t object and neither did Justin because it was fine to me to let him think that. (protection). This moment Justin and I shared with Dean was all about Dean. 

He was assigned to a small group and Rick Warren was leading it. The connection became deeper as Rick exhorted him how blessed he was. Dean vented to him about his 45,000 divorce court case, his failings in life and how angry he was. Rick was a friend to him and just listened. Our speaker Danny Lehmann had just told us that Rick Warren poured most of his money from his success back into the church and expanded the ministry. Dean was very impressed by how Warren lived out the principles of the Bible. Dean knew parts of the Bible well enough, that he started preaching to us and we were all ears. Dean read the Purpose driven life book and kept repeating the part “I am created to give God pleasure. I give Him pleasure.” No coincidences in life, because I’ve been reading that book and that was the second to last chapter I read. This man was drunk, wanting food and some cigarettes. He was open, funny and gave Justin and I a group hug because he was feeling “energy.” I wasn’t okay with details about the situation but knew God knew and had peace.

He was in a vulnerable place but was confident he gave God pleasure and God loved him.That man seemed more free that I did. He was living on faith and the kindness of strangers. One of them being Dave Swenson the night before. Dave hung out with him and told him about YWAM. (I don’t think YWAM would accept him. If he gave up a few of his habits possibly)  I began to cry as he shared how He believed God felt about him. He began to minister in his state. He would offend many religious folk but thats not who I am. A human who loves God and is trying to find comfort in an uncomfortable living situation. I am being softened and touched by surprising things. He was aware he had a lot by having food, running water and a nice bathroom. Thank you for the perspective check and inspiring me to do the same. I came to the dorms and told my roommates. One of them said “You just got schooled by a rich homeless man)I couldn’t help but cry because I know the Lord is calling me to this kind of confidence about His love for me. When will it go from head to heart knowledge and change my insecure behaviors? Ugh woman in waiting, seeking, reading…..

I made a decision. I am not going. It came down to the question- what is motivating me to go? God doesn't love me any more or less if I do or don't go. Do I want to go or am I going because I think God would love me more? I will not be motivated by fear or obligation. God loves me either way. And I keep hearing in me, I don't want to go, I don't want to go. So I'll listen to that. I won't go. I have peace and I'm happy about that. I miss my family and that is that. Decision made. Thank you for all who prayed and read this blog. I am learning about how to make decisions:)

Prayer Please

So Intercessorys and story followers- 

I am being challenged.

               Island culture like Samoa is not necessarily like Hawaii or California. I went to a meeting and was informed that we will be in huts, mosquitos are very abundant (which they are loving me here in Hawaii already), limited access to internet, bathrooms/showers are detached from our hut, electricity is in few locations, its going to be hot and yet we are called to be modest, covering the shoulders and knees at all times (skirts and short sleeved shirts), unsure  of weather we will be by water, or have any kind of breeze, its humid. Washing clothes by hand, slower pace.

Hot, sticky, very likely irritated with bug bites, different smells, traditions- can I handle these changes?

Yes, beautiful beaches, great fruit and the people I hear are very inviting and loving. 

Being able to teach and hear the word like another DBS is a privilege in order to firm up what I have already learned.

 (here is a map of Samoa) http://www.medicalmissions-samoa.com/samoa%20distance%20map.gif

          Our project is giving birth to a DBS school in a new location. We are doing something that has never been done before. DBS has never gone on outreach and our leaders have their hands open to what the situation is going to be like. There are 25 students signed up so far and some may come from surrounding Islands which means variation in the languages, needing translators. There are many unknowns but God knows what they are and will inform us at the right time.

                  This makes me consider many details. I will have my supplements but possibly not my raw eggs like normal. I’ve had to achieve a certain level of security in my health and will this be sustainable on this island? Can I trust the Lord to provide for my body and sustain? He’s big enough. 

The pervasive mindset is what is mine is yours. Will I handle lack of privacy? If I bring out a snack or game/something everyone is welcomed to it, which will make me lay down my attitude of entitlement (american trait? maybe.) This is mine and you can’t touch it. Is this really mine?   Not exactly Annalyse… Great preparation for having children or even being married eh? Healthy boundaries all in context but they are very relationally oriented with sharing life. Christ came to share eternity. 

What is my ultimate goal in life? To know God and make Him known. He went outside of His comfort zone, can I do the same? I know these are all touchy areas in me that need to be confronted. My goal is to love like Him, to have His image burned inside of me and display His disposition through my actions

***Main issue. I am suppose to buy the ticket this upcoming week but do not have $ yet raised for this trip. Its around 1,200-1,500 for such tickets. How can I, no how is this possible with God?***

My mind has many reasons to go and one of them being the opportunity to be like Christ who went outside of his comfort zone to reach us unlovable people, opportunities to listen and be a better student.  Yet I am human and am counting the cost of what I am stepping into. I have a choice to say no right now I don’t want to suffer if I don’t have to. Yet the point is being with Jesus. If this stretching and challenging will develop deeper intimacy with/dependency on Christ then the point will be accomplished. 

What the worst thing that could happen? I could just not like it and go home. No one is ever a failure for trying. I want to be like Christ, softened, full of grace and truth like my name. How do you become unoffendable? Its by being stretched eh? Join me in prayer for these ideals to be carried out and courage to step out in His will. 3 months of stretching could be just what I need to have a better perspective, practice trusting in Christ and letting His peace guard my heart and mind during this time and for the rest of life. Thank you for reading:)