Break through number 2

God is giving so much mental clarity yeah!!!! Being around room mates at times makes me feel crowded inside because I have been used to spending time alone in my room talking to God out loud. He is crumpling religion up and telling me I can experience Him anywhere. I have the freedom to pray out loud ha! Freedom is all around us, awareness is all we need to take hold of it.

          We are discussing the subject of "Kingdom Sexuality" learning how God ordained relationships. Kenny Jackson, our leader's husband shared how the world's rivers run from north to south but the Nile River runs from South to North and it is the only river that does such. He had a little glass full of the pee like water from the Nile. He used this as an illustration of how we are called to go against the flow of the worlds information of how sexuality is presented and this reminded me of Leeland "Opposite Way." We discussed this idea, Is sex a need and why. Need: a nescesity for life. Reproduction yes- always in context of marriage. We looked at Jesus an unmarried man and the case was closed.

               Such transparency! God lead one of my brothers to confess on the topic and I thought that I should share how God has delivered me as well. My heart beat soared and heard a voice say "don't, Don't, DON'T" before I came up. The story begins when I was 13-14 and there was a book I thought it read organism but I opened the book and was introduced to what and how orgasm occured. From then on I was curious about it and guilt kept following me. My goal was to be pure and blameless but was this really affecting me? YES! I thought a prophet would come out and say to my face what I was doing in secret. I never went on any porn sites or looked at magazines. Oh Ms. Purity would be found out. She would soon find out God wants truth in the inmost parts, psalm 51 and that God loved her the same even in the midst of sinning. 

                           But God's gift with making me a visual person made it hard. Especially little hints in movies scenes would replay in my mind. Music really affected me to because my ear for music, did not have protection at times and certain songs would arouse things from my ears to my body. Uggg- the world rushes. When God says "Don't awaken love until it so desires" not that sex is love, but the idea that this isn't to be awakened till my husband comes along. When I was 18, God delivered me through prayer and constant submission. He delivered a message as well. We are called to give Him pleasure not ourselves. I was taking away my husbands gift that He would want to give me. Out of consideration for my physical best friend other than Jesus, I prepare before hand. 

                        After sharing my insides with the group- healing flowed through people and many thanks came for the boldness to get in front of 45 people and share my guts. What shame? Who are you shame to try and taunt my life for being truthful with my neighbor? People wanted prayer and people wanted to talk about their struggles and know how God has had me walk this out. He is coming for a pure bride- How pure do you want to be? Just physically or mentally as well? This is between you and the Lord very much so- but I want to be transparent like glass. What is there to hide? Only sin causes us to hide like Adam and Eve in the garden. Our group named me courageous. I couldn't believe it was coming out of my mouth- it was God.

break throughs begin

Things are getting down to business:) I can feel your prayers for my health because I am healing quickly yeah! Today we watched a video of the performance that we will be putting on and it put me on edge for all the Lord would have us do in a short amount of time. After we were all exiting the theater, my face does not lie of the action inside and our "grandpa" Charlie came and held my hand saying "more training and you'll be ready."
                   I love my roommates. They are a low key group, quiet and considerate. We bonded after 3 days and are all like family " You need this? Here you go." or "Does anyone have this?" then two people say they got it. Such a community I enjoy being with. The guys are very respectful and if most are corrected they take it with humility. Most aim at becoming men of God which is awesome to be around. We were at the Ohana court for corporate worship which happens every friday and I was standing on the side where I didn't have a chair. My brother came over to accompany and when it was time to sit down he got me a chair:) I didn't even see him put it behind me. We all serve each other and this is what I have desired all along. It does take more effort to be aware of others needs but the Holy Spirit makes this easier.
                         Two days ago our group was in the prayer room that is open 24/7 which is my place to personally breath after a day of being with people and a place to be away from my room. I felt the call to dance but decided I would try to dance outside so I wouldn't be an "annoyance" or "distraction". I went out side and I couldn't hear the music because there are two sets of doors going in to make it sound proof. Frustrated that there were people outside. I am used to dancing alone, letting it be unto the Lord but He has shown me that an audience of one depends on your mental state and people shouldn't matter. period.
I busted out in tears because of the supression of expression and one of the PADTS staff was outside and pulled her aside to process. She began to pray for the fear of man to be broken, for perfect love casts out fear and I began to weep. In my mind I asked the Lord why this emotion and He spoke that when I am disobedient to step out it grieves the Holy Spirit and I am with holding blessing from others.
                Don't you hate living in lies because they become an escuse for not doing what you know you need to do? Not sure where the idea of dance being a distraction came from. Only if its for attention then this occurs. I was carrying my tray of breakfast (which are the best meal. Usually some kind of fresh fruit, and yummy oatmeal that they offer coconut to put into!) I asked the Lord , "Where would you have me sit?" Landed next to this kick butt woman who prayed over me for deliverance from the fear of man and to silence Satan's voice that is hindering my worship. Again I entered into the prayer room and a dance came. After words I wept again because I felt as though the wall was broken spiritually but it is something I must continue to do. In the bathroom I met a girl Marie who I poured my heart out to and she turned to me with caring eyes saying "Annalyse, you blessed me when you danced. It challenges me to be bold in the gifts God has made known to me that I need to exercise. I felt the heart of God get excited when you danced, like a Dad being passionate about His daughter being on stage for a recital. Especially when she is looking at Him the whole time and wants to please Him." Woah......
               We had to meet in the classroom and I rushed to one of my counselors to tell them what the Lord had done and it ended up the staff was in the upper part of the prayer room and they witnessed it. They voiced how they were blessed and "it was good" not in the performing way but in that stepping out was good. Now it is time to intercede for others who too struggle with stepping into their God glorifying gifts to be used and reflect the Lord. You can respond or reflect, Questions- What would you do if God called you to do something outside of your comfort zone? Does this happen often? Do you know what is holding you back? In what way do you feel limited? My charge to you is to put it before prayer, do it and post it on here to witness. Here is another tid bit from Joy Dawson who is John Dawson's mom gave a word to our specific generation saying: We must understand the following: Delayed obedience is disobedience. Partial obedience is disobedience. Obedience with murmuring is disobedience. What are your thoughts?

I guess little creatures like beach lice followed me home. I have around 12-13 bites on my body and I have to now change/disinfect/spray repellent. The last 2 days have been full of sneezing and congestion. Trying to discern whether its the bog (the ash air from the Kona volcano) that is affecting my sinuses or whether it is sickness. I took an antihistamine but it did not do much therefore I believe its the latter because last night it was hard for my body to keep warm and my throat has tightened up. I've been praying over my room and my roomates that they would not contract what I have. I need your prayers.
                 I love being up early hearing the island wake up before everyone else. I called the mongoose mini ferrits for a while and found an area where hummingbirds congregate. The geckos have the glowing green colors with bright coral dots on their backs. I will put up pictures don't worry. There are saffron canaries that are a rich yellow and it reminds me of my Grandma Robles because she loves birds and would oohh and ahh at them with her binoculars. There are many spiders who perch themselves in inconvenient places so we have to crash their parties a lot.
               It is a bit overwhelming having 7 room mates and I do find myself getting frustrated with how unclean girls can be:) I'm so used to having my space to talk to God outloud and when I don't just speak outloud here I feel caged inside. There is an invisible wall that the Lord is teaching me to break through with my words and willingness, to speak on behalf of everyone.
             There are 39 students in my performing arts DTS and I have such a heart for them. God is pouring amazing amounts of love into everyone for each other through the Holy Spirit. Such transparency and support can be found in each other. What is there to hide in Christ? The shame indicates a thinking of I will be thought less because.... when the one who really matters is already smiling at us and waiting to forgive us. People of all stages in their walk are here and I am learning to adjust my knowledge and be open to others. God is very much at work confirming a specific place He wants me to go and it is very exciting seeing what the Lord has prophetically giving me come into fruition. This does feel like home- yet my body seems to be opposed at first.  So much freedom here, and it must be fought for because Satan hates that we are taking what is ours when He wants to steal it back. Ha!
                  I have a spiritual warfare book in my room and my roommates+ other girls from separate rooms want to join in on a Bible study yeah!!!! We want to be equipped women of God, ready to war for what matters in our lives. Learn about the invisible realm  and get the sword out. I know much is going to happen and I get to witness others lives being radically transformed into the likness of Jesus. Testimonies and how people got here are crazy! We have such a colorful God who is the artists trying to portray His heart with what He has made.

Aloha and Sianara

 Dearest bloggers
               God gave me an over the top farewell party held by dear companions at a friends house. My sister had everyone write notes and put them in a beautiful sunflower box she present to me in front of everyone and people shared stories of how God impacted them through me. So humbled by the praise and the prayer that followed the receiving of the letters. I have decided to read one each day so it will last longer. My Auntie hosted dinner one night and my grandma made me a dinner and favorite German Chocolate cake the last night. Friends were visited and telephone calls made and received by family. Talk about family being a support like a mattress under you ...Dang!
         Okay 4:30am came quicker than anticipated. Showered and left at 5:10. I am so grateful for my daddy accompanied me. The minute we arrived at the airport we found that our plane ride was canceled so.......... By 8 we had a bit of a walk from the Hawaiian to the United Airline, then a 20 minute wait in line for baggage check. I was at the do it yourself baggage weighing place and my new confirmation went in but the touch screen kept saying "FLIGHT 57 IS FULL." Then prayers came for favor and an exception to the rules. The woman at the station kept saying that it was full and that baggage was supposed to be in 45 minutes before an 8:53 flight and it was 8:30 by the time I got my ticket. Thankfully they took my baggage in a hurry and said it was possible that I wouldn't receive it at the airport. My dad and I rushed to the metal detectors, where we departed.  I was fast walking to the yellow sign "gate 77"with my carry on, laptop and satchel until I heard "LAST AND FINAL CALL FOR ANNALYSE OLIVAS AT TERMINAL 77." I was the last person on that plane after running like some warrior woman to the gate. I sat in my seat that had 3 free seats, thinking that scene was like a movie:) The flight change was a blessing in disguise because I originally wanted a direct flight to Kona and that is what happened.
                      The flight was peaceful and I enjoyed the turbulence while others were throwing up. Poor people. There were these two blue eyed brothers who had never been on a plane and their expressed excitement was refreshing. Could see the white rolling lines of the shore from my seat- what a site from above. They YWAM staff was so helpful getting my luggage and were warm with their welcome. Registration came and I figured out that I had over paid online and that they do payments in increment rather than one huge one. The bank situation is not stress ful- heck I am not going to stress when in Hawaii or Hav vaieee:)
       Goodie! The arrival day did not have any structure and I saw that most people were like myself wandering around aimlessly 1/2 awake wondering what to do with the free time after dressing our beds.  Welcoming ceremony was a site to see with the dancers all outfitted and the men firm in their stance and jaw line set. Loren Cunningham came to Hawaii and talked this morning! What a treat to have the founder of YWAM with us and his wife Darla will be speaking in the next few days. We are praying for one of our team members to be coming from the Ivory Coast, where war has broken out and he is in a safe hiding place. He needs to get home to pack and then get to the airport. War is nothing to mess around with.
        Jesus is so visible in the small details of everyday life. He is showing me what and who to release in His hands. He is confirming over and over and I am learning the hearts ways and His heart for the nations. My roommates are so sweet! We have opened up our clothes, products and hearts to one another. So supportive. I'll be back! Aloha!