break throughs begin

Things are getting down to business:) I can feel your prayers for my health because I am healing quickly yeah! Today we watched a video of the performance that we will be putting on and it put me on edge for all the Lord would have us do in a short amount of time. After we were all exiting the theater, my face does not lie of the action inside and our "grandpa" Charlie came and held my hand saying "more training and you'll be ready."
                   I love my roommates. They are a low key group, quiet and considerate. We bonded after 3 days and are all like family " You need this? Here you go." or "Does anyone have this?" then two people say they got it. Such a community I enjoy being with. The guys are very respectful and if most are corrected they take it with humility. Most aim at becoming men of God which is awesome to be around. We were at the Ohana court for corporate worship which happens every friday and I was standing on the side where I didn't have a chair. My brother came over to accompany and when it was time to sit down he got me a chair:) I didn't even see him put it behind me. We all serve each other and this is what I have desired all along. It does take more effort to be aware of others needs but the Holy Spirit makes this easier.
                         Two days ago our group was in the prayer room that is open 24/7 which is my place to personally breath after a day of being with people and a place to be away from my room. I felt the call to dance but decided I would try to dance outside so I wouldn't be an "annoyance" or "distraction". I went out side and I couldn't hear the music because there are two sets of doors going in to make it sound proof. Frustrated that there were people outside. I am used to dancing alone, letting it be unto the Lord but He has shown me that an audience of one depends on your mental state and people shouldn't matter. period.
I busted out in tears because of the supression of expression and one of the PADTS staff was outside and pulled her aside to process. She began to pray for the fear of man to be broken, for perfect love casts out fear and I began to weep. In my mind I asked the Lord why this emotion and He spoke that when I am disobedient to step out it grieves the Holy Spirit and I am with holding blessing from others.
                Don't you hate living in lies because they become an escuse for not doing what you know you need to do? Not sure where the idea of dance being a distraction came from. Only if its for attention then this occurs. I was carrying my tray of breakfast (which are the best meal. Usually some kind of fresh fruit, and yummy oatmeal that they offer coconut to put into!) I asked the Lord , "Where would you have me sit?" Landed next to this kick butt woman who prayed over me for deliverance from the fear of man and to silence Satan's voice that is hindering my worship. Again I entered into the prayer room and a dance came. After words I wept again because I felt as though the wall was broken spiritually but it is something I must continue to do. In the bathroom I met a girl Marie who I poured my heart out to and she turned to me with caring eyes saying "Annalyse, you blessed me when you danced. It challenges me to be bold in the gifts God has made known to me that I need to exercise. I felt the heart of God get excited when you danced, like a Dad being passionate about His daughter being on stage for a recital. Especially when she is looking at Him the whole time and wants to please Him." Woah......
               We had to meet in the classroom and I rushed to one of my counselors to tell them what the Lord had done and it ended up the staff was in the upper part of the prayer room and they witnessed it. They voiced how they were blessed and "it was good" not in the performing way but in that stepping out was good. Now it is time to intercede for others who too struggle with stepping into their God glorifying gifts to be used and reflect the Lord. You can respond or reflect, Questions- What would you do if God called you to do something outside of your comfort zone? Does this happen often? Do you know what is holding you back? In what way do you feel limited? My charge to you is to put it before prayer, do it and post it on here to witness. Here is another tid bit from Joy Dawson who is John Dawson's mom gave a word to our specific generation saying: We must understand the following: Delayed obedience is disobedience. Partial obedience is disobedience. Obedience with murmuring is disobedience. What are your thoughts?